Saturday, February 5, 2011

YIKES! Valentine's Day is Around the Corner! - By Denise Chand

I truly understand and appreciate why so many single people cringe around this time of the year. It reminds us that we’re single, alone, without love…even when we go to the grocery store we’re reminded that we buy for one and not two -

“One stake salmon, please…no, not that one, the smaller cut, 3 once. I won’t be able to finish it and God knows I don’t have a special someone in my life to finish my meal for me. On second thought, give me the 6 ounce…what I can’t finish I’ll have for dinner tomorrow night!”

Sounds familiar? We see advertisements everywhere - in the malls, on TV (even in the programs we regularly watch), the newspaper, magazines, the radio, in ear-shot conversations. It’s like an epidemic - VD is everywhere, even in the air! Can you believe some recipe websites have “Valentine’s Day Recipes”-- someone please tell me what special delicacies are served on Valentine’s Day and not on any other day! I’ll eat the caramel brownie hearts, brownie-heart cupcakes, Filet Mignon with Rich Balsamic Glaze, Oven Roasted Steak – you get the picture, any time during the year. When it comes to my palate, every day is special, deserving such delightful dinners and desserts.

All jokes aside, my heart grieves to know that there are so many individuals around the world who feel the emptiness in their souls around Valentine’s Day – an unwanted reminder; a “place” where we desperately don’t wish to go, but unfortunately we’re hauled into it against our own freewill. And the feeling everyone experiences is not that of loneliness solely; it’s accompanied by the other negative emotions such as, fear, bitterness, anger, dreaded pain stemming from deep layers of past hurts and disappointments. We receive countless emails from our viewers of the Today’s Woman talk show and Facebook friends, expressing their pain and a deep yearning to meet their soul mates (emphatically yes, I believe in soul mates). Even as close as my inner circle, I know of friends and family dear to my heart who have a deep desire to meet their beloveds and are hurting because this desire is yet to be fulfilled. I will be the first to tell you that I hated, detest, dreaded Valentine’s Day. As you may be aware I love Love, but I had an inherent despise for Valentine’s Day. I’ve had my share of a ripped and mutilated heart (strong word I know, but it speaks to the depth of my pain) and disappointments. As mentioned in previous Blogs, as a young girl I thought my quest on earth was to find my soul mate, so without question you know I desire for my king and I to meet. I love to love and I certainly love being loved – that is what we’ve been created by God to experience.

One of the main fears everyone has is being alone; never meeting someone. FEAR – False Evidence Appearing Real! Don’t allow past hurts and disappointments to dictate your life where you’re afraid to love again; don’t allow it to be “evidence” confirming that love hurts and you’ll never meet someone; don’t allow hurtful past experiences to become your reality – you learn from it, find your diamonds in the rubble and with the help of the Holy Spirit move forward.
“WOW, that sounds so easy, Denise, but wake up and smell the coffee sista girl! It’s not as easy as that!”

How did I get finally to this point in my life? The answer is simple – Jesus! I purposed in my mind that I would go after Him (yes, Jesus) with all my might for Him to teach me, show me that He cares and is involved in romantic love. I was relentless in my mission! I wasn’t giving up on this deep–seated desire for love. Emphatically no way on earth! If He created me, where He knows the number of strands of hair on my head, then He surely cares who I will marry, and will certainly teach me how to function in a relationship/marriage so to never have to retain a family law lawyer (the area of law which is my educational and professional background). I like harmony – I don’t look attractive in stress; it’s a fashion faux pas – plus I’m allergic to all that comes with it! The first thing the Holy Spirit began to teach me (and still is teaching me) is to know WHO HE IS – knowing who He is would ultimately teach me WHO I AM, which would inevitably develop an inherent confidence in Him + myself = an intimate relationship between us! He has helped me with the unwanted layers from past relationships, where my self-esteem has been brought back to its rightful level.

My BKFF (Best Kingdom Friend Forever), Jennifer, tweeted,
“God is surely involved in romantic relationships when we give Him room to move.”
Friends, the only way to give Him room to move is to get to know Him first - your confidence in Him will develop, and you’ll then begin to hear from Him about all your past relationships, things which you need to change about yourself (that’s a hard one but you’ll get through it!), you’ll learn to discern His voice from others, including your own, your heart will heal removing any bitterness and reluctance to love again, you’ll fall in love with Love all over again – the list is endless. I will add – it’s not easy, but this is where you make the choice to believe or don’t, to press on or quit, to be moved by your revelation or by your situation, to desire change or remain. It takes discipline and I’m the first to tell you it truly does. It means going against the odds – what the world is saying and what your heart is saying. To Blog on the “process” I went through would mean exposing the deepest chambers of my heart and soul and I’m not fully ready to do that yet – I will one day, I promise.

Please don’t give up on Love, on your desire for love – don’t be afraid; you will meet the one your soul loves! I encourage you to fall in love with love again. Recently I’ve been featuring love and relationships on Facebook to inspire everyone to the next level in love, even if it means going to the deepest and darkest chambers of your heart and face what’s there, clear it out so you can make room for love to come again! God doesn’t only want you to meet your beloved, He wants to first heal you from your past hurts and disappointments so you’re not taking past residue into your new relationship. Allow Him to do what He needs to do; recognize what He’s doing and when He’s doing it – trust me, its helps!

One of my very good friends, my KFF (Kingdom Friend Forever), wrote the following quote on my Facebook page, which is profound:
“Never make love because love made makes love fade! If we say we make love then we must be equally held responsible for when we take love! We are most arrogant and guilty of heresy when we say we make love because Genesis teaches that it was love that made us!" – Tomi Arayomi
I want to share my prayer/confession with you, so you too can pray/confess it:Well, because I have awakened that’s why I can write this Blog at this point in my life. If it was last year or the years prior, there was absolutely no way I would be of this mindset. A wise man once said to me, “Love does not hurt us. It is the individuals who misuse love, who don't know how to give love the respect and honour it deserves!" That truth has been etched in my spirit.
I speak in the Name of Jesus that the power of the Spirit of God is moving me from where I am today to the next and higher level in my life. I decree in the Name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth that my husband is being set in my path for us to meet. The Grace of God is working in me, healing me of past hurts and disappointments. Father, you know the plans you have for me, they are to prosper me, give me a future and hope...this plan includes my husband and children. I speak the power of God, in the Name of Jesus - I am being placed in the path of my husband today. The barriers are removed. Hallelujah! The Spirit of God is resting upon me right now...I am being prepared like Esther was to meet her king! I am being placed in that place of opportunity like Ruth was when she met Boaz! The anointing is on me and my husband removing all obstacles preventing us from meeting, in the Name of Jesus! The set time has come for my husband and I to meet, and for me to experience this great and precious gift given to us by you – Love! Thank you Lord Jesus! Because you love me, you won't allow us to be a part one second longer, Hallelujah! Thank you Lord Jesus! Thank you for my husband and our children. Hallelujah!
The Holy Spirit has confirmed to me His involvement in romantic relationships and He will connect the steps of His children who seek Him for a romantic relationship – and He’s been confirming this everyday. Ohhhhhhh how I love the Holy Spirit!

My friends, may God show you today that He is the greatest and best matchmaker!


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  1. Hi Denise Chand thanks for this blog and for the prayer /Confession I'm in my mid 20's and i've never been in a relationship and i've watched young woman my age and older throw themselves in relationships their not meant to be in because they don't want to be lonely. i don't want to be in a relationship with someone just for the sake of being in a relationship with them just to pass time. May GOD show me today that he is the greatest- and best Matchmaker. The Holy Spirit will show me the way because i used to cry myself to sleep because i'm single. but God has put this in my heart: God is my Source , his my care taker and The Holy spirit is my comforter, counsellor , helper , advocate , intercessor , strengthener, stand-by and his my supernatural provider. this is all i wanted to share with you.

  2. Hi There!

    Thank you for sharing your heart with me. I would love to speak with you directly. Please contact me at